How to Stop Worrying About the Future and Start Living in the Moment

3 Minute Read (6 if you count the Snoop Dogg video)

Humans are the only animals able to think about the future. According to several books I’ve read recently, this is because our brains are larger and more complex than those of any other being. Daniel Gilbert (not the Quicken Loans guy, but the Harvard Psychology Professor) writes, “the greatest achievement of the human brain is its ability to imagine objects and episodes that do not exist in the realm of the real, and it is this ability that allows us to think about the future.”

Known to many psychologists as “the ape that looks forward,” we humans owe our unique ability to imagine the future to our somewhat-recently acquired frontal lobe.

But don’t take my word for it, let me introduce you to the compelling story of Phineas Gage. A railroad worker in the mid-1800s, Gage experienced an accident that sent an iron rod through his cheek and up through his brain, boring a tunnel through his head and taking out a sizable chunk of his frontal lobe. The result? Gage walked himself to the hospital and seemed--all things considered--remarkably ok. He went on to live a relatively normal life with one catch: He lost the ability to think about the future. Gage could no longer plan or feel anxiety, and seemed to live in a permanent present.

After learning of this, I went skiing for a few days. I noticed that, on the chair lift and when gliding along gradual slopes, my thoughts often drifted to the future ("I'm thinking chicken fingers for lunch," "I sure hope I get a window seat on the flight home," "I don't know man...Trump with access to nukes?"). These thoughts instantly vanished, however, when I was forced to navigate steep runs, moguls, and other fast-moving skiers. In other words, when I was forced to live in the moment, my frontal lobe turned off. I was in the zone.

According to the 2011 documentary Happy, this "zone" is when we are at our happiest. 

Don't get me wrong, this is not a call to action for all of us to have our frontal lobes removed (known as a lobotomy). The frontal lobe of Homo Sapiens is responsible for some of the best shit we have going today, including (but not limited to): the wheel, college basketball and Snoop Dogg's Plizzanet Earth:¹

 

Here's my point: Our frontal lobes--allowed to run amok--can drive us mad with worry about a future negative event (which usually doesn't end up happening anyway) and lead us to believe we can control the uncontrollable. Further, according to Gilbert, fantasizing about the future can be so pleasurable that we become certain that our futures MUST unfold as such. Ideal futures rarely pan out, thus leading to exclusively human emotions such as disappointment and regret...just ask anyone who has been to Vegas.

 Vegas according to our frontal lobes

Vegas in reality

So how do we turn this stupid frontal lobe off and live in the moment? Here are a few suggestions:

Exercise: Especially team sports. When playing basketball, your 401(k) doesn't cross your mind.

Meditate: Train your mind so that you are in control, not your ignorant-ass forehead. There are several apps that can help with this.

Write: When you write well, you think well.

Monotask: Zen proverb - When walking, walk. When eating, eat. When out with your friends, put your goddamn phone away.²

Appreciate: It's impossible to worry and be thankful at the same time. Go ahead. Try it.

Read: Books, you asshole. Social media doesn't count. Here are some recommendations. Let me know when you need more.

Establishing these habits has been helpful for me. What am I missing? Would love to hear from you.

Also, just figured out how to add footnotes to blogger. Who doesn't love footnotes?

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1 Sliced bread does not make my list.^↩

2 I added the part about the phone. Seemed appropriate.^↩

Dwight Eisenhower and Draymond Green: More Alike Than You Thought

Hitler and the Nazis were able to swiftly conquer neighboring countries like Poland and France by way of a startling and intimidating strategy known as the German Blitzkrieg (which is where you football fans get the term “Blitz,” by the way). By concentrating troops into narrow, piercing units (usually tweaked out on the crystal meth, mind you), the Germans assumed the look of an overwhelming force and caused opponents often to give up rather than try to fight what seemed to be an unwinnable battle. 

Similarly, when LeBron James has the ball on a fast break, every player in the NBA knows it is best to get out of the way and let him score as opposed to getting posterized (see entire Detroit Pistons team in game 5 of the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals), or giving King James an and-one opportunity. Every player, that is, except for my main man Draymond Green. 

After the successful D-Day invasion of Nazi-occupied France in 1944, Allied forces knew they would face the German Blitzkrieg again. How would they stop it? How to resist a force that had made such quick work of every army in Europe to that point?

Fortunately for all of us, a great leader named Dwight D. Eisenhower stepped up and saw the opportunity within the impending attacks. By letting the Nazis through the Allied front lines (similar to the strategy invoked by Sunshine from Remember the Titans), the Allies could lure the Nazi meth heads into a “meat grinder,” surrounding and attacking them from their exposed flanks and from behind.

A few days ago, Draymond used a similar strategy as LeBron caught the ball in the open court and seemed destined for a thundering dunk. Green, who has earned a reputation for standing up to James (or for punching him in the balls, depending on where you’re from), was not intimidated. He took it to LeBron and, by doing so, exposed what might be the only flaw in the eventual Hall of Famer’s game: his propensity to flop like a European soccer player.

But that wasn’t all, as the Flop King played dead on the floor of Oracle Arena, Draymond showed further insubordination by mocking LeBron’s theatrics to the delight of courtside Silicon Valley billionaires. The reaction of the ESPN commentators, coupled with the condemnation of Draymond by journalistic hackjob Stephen A. Smith tells you all you need to know. The Warriors went on to blow out the Cavs, and the undersized butterball from Saginaw got the best of the greatest player since Jordan—perhaps exonerating himself from the dick pic he tweeted over the summer.

Bless you, Draymond Green. You give us all hope.

Conditional Happiness and the Hedonic Treadmill

There are two ways to be happy:

1. Get everything you want
2. Want everything you have

Which seems more attainable here and now? In my recent reading endeavors, I’ve picked up two psychological concepts that have helped me understand happiness:

Conditional Happiness: I’ll be happy once I graduate, when I make more money, when I can finally take a vacation. We’ve all said something like this out loud or to ourselves at one time or another. Conditional happiness is directly linked to pursuit of external factors we think will fulfill us, and is the cousin of materialism. 

The Hedonic Treadmill (aka Hedonic Adaptation): Psychologists figured this one out relatively recently (late 1990s), and it refers to our tendency to revert back to our original state of happiness relatively soon after acquiring whatever it is we’ve been longing for. Finally got that new car you've been saving for? It’ll make you happy for a short while, then it becomes the norm and you’re back to where you started. Get a pay raise? Good for you! It won’t be long until you’re seeking another one. Further, it would be downright devastating to receive a pay cut. To quote the philosopher Chris Rock, “If Bill Gates woke up one day with Oprah’s money, he’d jump  off a bridge. ‘Oh no! I can’t even put gas in my plane!'”

One example (of presumably many) of me falling victim to this way of thinking recently:

Heated Seats: I got a new car last summer and it happens to have heated seats. I’ve long scoffed at the idea of paying extra money for ass-warmers (honestly, when’s the last time you were uncomfortable due to a cold ass?), and now it’s the first button I push when I start my car. In fact, I’ve caught myself getting frustrated when the seat has taken longer than usual to warm my ass, and I'm disappointed when I find myself a passenger in a car without this feature. I'm embarrassed.

So if conditional happiness and jumping on the hedonic treadmill are so engrained in our culture, how the hell do we avoid falling victim to this? A few suggestions:

1. Prime the mind every morning: According to legendary performance coach Tony Robbins, when we begin the day in a lowered emotional state (tired, overwhelmed, hungover, etc.), we see only problems in our lives, not solutions. This leads to us telling ourselves self-defeating stories (“I can’t succeed,” “Woe is me!). To fix this, Robbins suggests, have a morning routine that primes the mind for the day. This way, Robbins suggests, we’ll begin to see solutions to life’s problems. Further, we’re more likely to recognize and appreciate the good in our lives. Without fail, this leads to gratitude and, to paraphrase Robbins: It’s impossible to feel negative emotions and gratitude simultaneously. Up to you how you want to prime your mind, but after reading this (in Tools of Titans), I’m forcing myself to work out, meditate and write before starting each day. So far, so good.
2. Stop being so goddamn distracted: Once we’ve taken care of the basics—food, water, shelter, heated seats—money and possessions are just a story. The goal of advertising and marketing is to get us to believe their story—that our lives are inadequate and that we can achieve happiness by purchasing their product. We don’t have to listen.
3. Realize happiness comes from within: As my man Van Morrison says, “Look for happiness—always—within your self. And don’t go chasing, thinking that it is out there—somewhere else.”